John Valentine was born May 1st, 1969 in a barn just outside of Cowlick, Kentucky. His father, Abraham Valentine, was an agent for the CIA who would take John on covert missions to Central America and the Middle East posing as Christian missionaries. His mother, Sara Valentine, would later become a popular dancer at Larry Flynt's Hustler Club in Cincinnati, Ohio. John spent his youth cultivating marijuana and trading guns throughout eastern Kentucky while becoming locally known for his theological debates with Southern Baptist ministers.

He wrote songs and played on the Campfire Songs for the Apocalypse recordings. He most recently contributed to several animations with Tommy2Toes and Bob Morley. In 2001 he wrote and self-published his autobiographical book Aimless and is currently working on his follow-up novel Wake. John also does audio and video editing on films by world renoun artist Santiago. His likeness was recently immortalized as a puppet in the Mr. Dickie presents... "Love & War" puppet show. During the mid 1990's he produced recordings for Grey Alien 5. If this website leaves you dreaming for more read his aimless blog... or better yet, get a life.