John Valentine was born May 1st, 1970 in a barn just outside of Beaver Dam, Kentucky. His father, Abraham Valentine, was a triple-dipped agent for the CIA who would take John on covert missions to Central America and the Middle East posing as Christian missionaries. His mother, Sara Valentine, would later become a popular dancer at Larry Flynt's Hustler Club in Cincinnati, Ohio. John spent his youth cultivating marijuana and trading guns throughout Kentucky while becoming locally known for his theological debates with winos and Baptist ministers. In Kentucky many winos are former Baptist ministers as well as many Baptist ministers being former winos.

During the mid 1990's he produced recordings for Grey Alien 5. He wrote songs and played on the Campfire Songs for the Apocalypse recordings. He has contributed to several animations with Tommy2Toes, Bob Morley, and Jimmy Mack. His likeness was immortalized as a puppet in the Mr. Dickie presents... "Love & War" puppet show.

John Valentine is currently an Old Rugged Cross Dresser and creates a monthly podcast at The Cooperative Association for Breaking into the Spotlight. The podcast is called Johnny V's Smokin' Chicken Shack and features new music, wisdom and chickens on every episode. You can search it out under Smokin' Chicken Shack on iTunes podcast listing. You can download music from his Loose Cannon series at his Johnny V's Loose Cannon bandcamp page.